Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Crazy is as crazy does...

I'm going to take a page from the PINKS AND ROSES book and give a "shout out" to all of the crazy people that I meet, when I’m walking down the street...

HOMELESS MAN: You made my day when you asked my friend for money, told him that you loved him (even though he didn’t give you anything), and assured him that you weren’t gay. Here’s a tip for you: Don’t tell a man that you love him, if you’re not going to put out.

CRAZY MAN IN WHEELCHAIR: No, I do not want to be “cut by a machete” or “die a slow death as you watch laughing” I was merely trying to stop your crazy ass from being killed, as you pulled yourself along in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

GIRL ON THE BUS: Please wear clothes that fit. If you are an extra large, wear it proudly. Do not try and squeeze yourself into a size small shirt! I DO NOT want to see your belly dangling precariously close to my face, as you stand in front of my seat… and I definitely don’t want to spend my trip home worrying about whether or not the button on your jeans is going to pop off and maim me.

MR. CAB DRIVER: I lied when I thanked you for calling me "hot" as you drove me home, alone, in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! I actually thought that you were rather creepy... go figure!


Seacrest out!

7 comments:

PINKSandROSES said...

oh I hate that girl on the bus. I see her everywhere. Sometimes she girl in front of me at McDonalds. Other times she girl sitting there at the Airport. Now I feel as if a shouldn't be so judgemental, but seriously you had no other clothes that fit? Lame.

Slade said...

what about stinky nasty construction worker whom you can't walk by without getting an earfull of ohhhh baby and whistling...really, men should know by now that we don't like that shit

Jason said...

Girls with big bulging bellies = yuck. It's one thing to be pround of yourself just as you are, but must you flaunt it?

Serena said...

LOL!

london cokehead said...

I'm loving that death cab stuff mate .. espesh transatlanticism .. thanks for putting me onto that :-)

Joe said...

That one about the jeans button was too funny. Now I'm never gonna feel safe on the subway again.

Adrian said...

LOL!

People like that make my day.

Knowing that there are tossers like that out in the world, I KNOW I'll never be at the bottom of the food chain...