Monday, April 18, 2005

French Fries are my Crack Cocaine

I am in serious withdrawal. I'm thinking of entering rehab, as it seems to be the cool thing to do as of late. Celebrities consider rehab a weekend at the spa. I need a weekend at the spa. DESPERATELY! I am in withdrawal because I've quit the Junk cold turkey. You must think I'm crazy but it's all because of my brother. Here's the back-story: It all started a few months ago, in the height of my addiction. My brother (Greg) was playing THE basketball game of the year against York U. This was the game that would be the deciding factor in whether or not they went to Halifax (or the "BIG SHOW" as I continuously called it; much to the chagrin of all around me). Late in the second half my bro's team was losing. The fans were all on the edge of their seats. In the hope that the game would turn around, I made a deal with the man upstairs. I promised that I would eat better if they won the game and kept winning in Halifax. (Somehow my mom has convinced me that God cares if I eat well - I was sheltered growing up) Anyway they won the game, and I was forced to eat well for a month. Now, if I had made the deal for something that I wanted, I have to admit that I would've blown off the promise to God once I got my way. Don't judge me... you would do it too... But because I was playing with the whole teams' future I had to follow through. So here I am two months later, still trying to eat well. It sucks! I pass by anyone with a bag of fries and I seriously consider pushing them into traffic, grabbing the bag and running for my life! I swear, the aroma hits my nostrils and I go crazy, I turn into the hulk (albeit a female slightly browner version). I never said addiction was pretty. Visions of French fries dancing merrily, just out of reach, consume my dreams. I am sick. I am one step away from ending up on the street.
Gladly I am not as sick as these people:

This is TRUE addiction


Anonymous said...

So I am guessing a gift certificate to Frites' Alors would not be the best birthday gift? DAMN!!! Now I need a whole new plan....


Anonymous said...

wow! ur a big loser....with too much time on ur hands!

jks jks.....i luv u despite the fact that you have become a BLOGGER! oh dear....I see visions of ur big blog masterpiece being published in the New York Times. It would be called..."The World through my Braids" or something mysterious like that.
You'll have to start wearing black turtlenecks and John Lennon sunglasses!

But.....looking through ur utter wierdness, I DO share ur addiction to French Fries (as u place on queen street).......but UNLIKE u, I would never make a promise to God, or Buddha or anyone - who would compromise and block ME from my Micky Dees!

Luv ya,
S to the B-Tizzle!

Seema said...

Girl, now that our exam is done I'm ready to comment :) And after seeing those ridiculous fries, I understand why you were howling at Tim's yesterday - our SST just couldn't compete with that get up! I was reading past comments and did Steph sign up for a Sex and the City marathon?? Cause if she did, I'm alllll over that! See you in Walmart in that special aisle!!

P.S. Great blog... don't worry - I frequent your thoughts often. ;)

XO. Seema

kitkat said...

I too get mad cravings for McDonald's french fries--none other will do. Here's where you need to turn into a lawyer--what did you promise God exactly? To eat "better" means lots of things. You could just cut down and allow yourself fries just once a week or once every two weeks. That's better, right? Or, cut yourself off of other junk COMPLETELY, and then allow your fries to be your one vise. Yeah?

Slade said...

I agree with didn't actually say that you would give up french fries...just that you would eat better, right? hehe

Anonymous said...


I love you, don't ever change into a non-french-fry eater! You wouldn't be the same old Trish. Who would I have given all those nasty Sacred Heart french fries to? They were so big and fat, only a true french fry addict would have eaten them!